I made a comparison yesterday with some friends. One of them gave a metaphor of a deposit that we have with God. It made me think of the phrase literally. Working in retail, a deposit is a package prepared at the end of the night that holds money to be brought to the bank. The Bible is a Christian’s deposit, yet we usually don’t know the amount of “money” that is inside. Living in complacency makes it difficult to realize how much money we actually have. If you’re walking down a road and someone gives you a container and says there is a good amount of money in it, what would you do? I would hope it would be safe to say that at some point or another you would count the money. You do, after all, want to know how much money you have. The same should be said for the Bible. Shouldn’t we desire to know the amount of wisdom inside? Shouldn’t we be prepared? Aren’t we curious to know and seek truth?

Life has been treating me well lately. I am content in where I am, knowing that I am driving on to greater things and that everything is seasonal. I am well beyond exhausted in the field of retail, but life is life and I am thankful to at least have jobs. I do get a week long break in February and I get to fly home for the first time since I moved and spend time with family and friends back there. I am excited at the idea since I haven’t been there in awhile, but also because I get a well needed break from life here in Orlando. Not necessarily life, but I should say work. I am content in knowing where I am going.

One of the concepts with retail is that it is ever changing. Working at Pier 1 Imports means that there are items for specific holidays and specific times of year. When one product goes out of season it is removed from it’s statement and sent to another one. The other statement already has product on it, so that product has to go elsewhere and so forth if you catch my drift. Like most people, I like to do something right the first time so that it doesn’t have to be done again. This is a conflicting manner with retail because as I mentioned above, the store constantly changes and within a few weeks to a month the statement is broken down and remade into the current product on display. It isn’t terrible, but it’s monotony that will never allow me to be satisfied because I know it’s only temporary.

Life is good and God is good and I am thankful for the jobs that I have and the people I get to communicate with on a regular basis. I am also grateful for good friends, all across the nation, and the insight people have to offer. I am excited to see where this year takes me and what I do differently from the previous years. I leave you with an image I took earlier yesterday of my roommates girlfriend’s dog, Bindi. She proceeded to take a shit on the carpet behind me.

I’ve been living with my roommate, Doug, for a few months now and we’ve lived together briefly before this. He is a former Marine and has recently started attending Full Sail for a degree in Film. The ambition he has along with his professionalism and his drive to work is astounding. Granted, I haven’t done much, but he has done more in the past year than I have in the last three years. Not only has he done more, but his bare minimum is phenomenal. Check out his Vimeo Account.

I think about the community that I am part of and I know that it is full of artists and talented people utilizing their gifts. I came and went through Full Sail with a desire in film and ultimately pursued photography for a small amount of time, and then I got burnt out and stopped. I am a jack of all trades. Not amazing at one thing but decent in several things. I can get around in sports, I can talk shop with technology and video games, and I can enjoy riding a bike. More times than not I find myself observing something; whether it be a piece of art, a video, a photograph, or perhaps someone on an adventure or doing something that I haven’t and I desire to do just that. I tend to pick up things that others do and I don’t do what I myself want to do. I suppose if I want to do what others do that that becomes my own, in a way.

I look back at everything that I see and desire and I realize what I know and I ignore it. I’ve realized for the past year that I love music with all of me and that I desire that ultimately as a passion. Whether or not I decide to do something with it is up to me, and I hope I pursue. I seem to get so caught up in the world and what people can do that I find things that fascinate me, which seems to be everything, and I go to it. Not only do I go to it, but I put all my eggs in one basket. My friend Rachel was in town over the holidays and we had a good conversation where she reminded me what I should already know; that I don’t have to go to one extreme or the other. I can do multiple things, but still have my heart pressed firm in what I do.

I desire for this to be a year of pursuit of what I desire and what I know I want to do. I desire for this to be a year of learning and achieving good things. That I don’t try to see what else I can find that others do. I desire to not be envious of good things that people do. Follow your heart, Casey.

1. Music
I am very thankful that my elementary school enforced the arts and I had music class year round. This is ultimately how I can read music and know a fair bit about the beginnings of music theory. The treble clef is down pretty solid and I am working on the bass clef. Ideally, I’d love to dig into music theory and learn that alongside of teaching myself the piano on a deeper level, along with the guitar. This is a topic that seems to cover several smaller factions. Another topic in this genre is learning a computer program, specifically Logic Pro. I use GarageBand for creating music and it’s about time I’ve transitioned. In the totality of this category I desire to learn Music Theory, Piano, Guitar, and Logic Pro.

2. Spanish
I kick myself for not taking high school seriously, as a whole. To direct the kick, I wish I would have taken it seriously to learn another language. So many times in the jobs that I’ve held that I’ve had to pass on a guest and/or customer because I simply cannot communicate with them. Spanish is a language that I’d really like to learn to the point of being comfortable to hold conversations with others. Rosetta Stone will help me with this, I just need the discipline.

3. Health
I’m cutting back on the sugars, specifically chocolate. I want to lose weight. Specifically, I desire to lose weight in my face. I suppose I am content for the most part in all other ways. I know that cutting sugars will greatly affect my weight and my health overall. I’d love to create a food budget that limits my fast food intake and even intake of going out to eat. This also falls in line with money management and understanding that money spent on groceries goes so much further.

4. Reading
I love reading, I just don’t make the most time for it. This year has been pivotal and exciting for me because I’ve read a great deal of awesome books and my desire for reading has increased. There are valleys in my desire to read, just as there are mountains and valleys in all hobbies and desires, so it seems. That to say, I love ordering books and the idea of a book collection and learning what I do and what I can from reading. It’s very rewarding on a personal level.

My mindset for some of this, such as Music, Spanish, and Reading is to treat it as if I am enrolled in college and taking classes, yet teaching myself and the cost being simply investment of time. I don’t want it to be something I do when I feel like it, because I understand that I’m not going to always feel like doing these things. But, if I press on in all times, I know the reward will be worth it and the payoff will be great. 2012 will hopefully be a great year filled with learning and a hopeful full twelve months in case the Mayans were right and the world does end in December.

1. Phone call from mother at 6:30am just to talk.
I didn’t get her phone call until 8:30am my time, in which case we talked for roughly thirty minutes and discussed how we weren’t in the Christmas spirit and didn’t really have anything going on for the holiday. She did tell me that she’d get me her sugar cookie recipe alongside her banana bread recipe.

2. Sleep until 10:00am.
After getting off the phone with my mother, I was able to sleep in until 10:00.

3. Communicate with people selling iPod on Craig’s List
There is a recall for Apple’s 1G iPod Nano because of a heating battery. It started in 2008 and it a company finally demanded that Apple do a replacement for all 1G iPod Nanos. I did research online and found out that Apple has been sending users a 6G replacement. This gives us the assumption that Apple wasn’t expecting this high of a return and doesn’t have enough of the 1G to give to everyone, so now they’re giving the latest model out. Having been interested in one for the past few weeks, I did a search for all 1G iPod Nanos in the area and went and purchased one. I typed in the Serial Number and Apple confirmed it qualifies for a replacement. I am hoping for a 6G, but if I get a 1G, then I’ll still be content.

4. Purchase iPod from Craig’s List people.
Met at a Publix and got an iPod Nano. For being 5 years old it has been kept in great condition. I used to have this iPod back in high school and I remember that it fit perfectly into an Altoids tin.

5. Get ready for and go to work.
Left to go to work at Disney and got there rather early. Hung out in the photo base. I really enjoy my job and especially working at Wilderness Lodge. It’s so peaceful there.

6. Leave work and almost run out of gas.
Left work and searched for gas. Unfortunate for me, Wilderness Lodge is the only Resort I work at that doesn’t have a gas station near it. I have to take the back way out and to the highway and there are no gas stations nearby. I felt my car sputter a time or two and thought that I’d be walking to get gas, but I thankfully made it to a station.

7. Get gas and car starts idling.
I pull out of the gas station and I am at a red light and my car immediately starts a rough idle. I’ve experienced this before, so I hold the brakes while I rev the engine at a constant rate. This keeps it from stalling out and gets me on the highway where I am fine, at least until I take an exit or experience heavy traffic. I decide to take the Sand Lake exit and go to Walmart to get some oil, thinking I should put some in my car.

8. Make it to Walmart, but their closed.
Walmart is closed. Nothing more to it than that. Maybe the first time I’ve been to a Walmart in a month or two and it’s closed. I drove to the next plaza where there was a liquor store and tried to figure out what to do. Tried to use a bathroom in the liquor store, but they didn’t have one.

9. Walk to gas station for potential fix.
I ventured to the gas station maybe half a mile north and got a quart of oil. I walked around a bit, wondering what solution could solve all of this. I go back to my vehicle to add the oil and see how the vehicle is taking everything. It isn’t and it’s dead.

11. Call insurance company and get a tow truck.
I am really proud and happy to be part of my bank. They are some of the nicest people I’ve talked to over the phone with things that they do. The insurance that I pay allows me to get a free tow as many times as I want, so long as they are different incidents. It’s an hour expected way, so I lean my car seat back, lay on my side and doze off while listening to David Platt talk about Job and how he lost everything. I wonder if God had that lined up.

12. Meet Javier and talk while he tows my car and myself home.
Javier was the tow truck driver. He got my car on the tow truck and we drove for twelve miles to my house. Javier is from Colombia, remarried and has been married for seven years. He works every single day and believes it is necessary because he has to pay bills everyday, which makes sense. He doesn’t have kids, but perhaps one day. He is supportive of his wife and her personal business. The two of them moved down after he had worked for the New York Times as a truck drive. Was a nice gentleman and we had good conversation.

13. Bring outside a light, tools, and the remedy to fix the vehicle.
The diagnosis I gave my vehicle was a problem with the EGR valve. This valve is pretty good at building up carbon on the inside and not allowing the car to read levels properly. I took the valve off, brought it inside and scraped it and had it all go back together and the vehicle working within the hour. However…

14. Rain starts to fall as soon as I get started on the vehicle.
I pull my 100ft. extension cord out and get one of the work lights I have and get all my tools and everything set up and I suddenly hear the world around me pattering here and there, softly. It started raining and I wasn’t about to let it stop me. I worked from under the hood of my car.

15. Car is fixed.
Car is fixed, or at least until next time. I go inside and wash my hands and put everything back.

16. Car is packed to go and do laundry.
I gather all my laundry, which was quite a handful or two and put them in my newly cleaned vehicle. I drove to the Ruth Lane house, with Lori’s permission of course, and started laundry at around 2:00am. Did enough laundry to have watched an entire movie, which was pretty good. Thankful for good friends.

17. Doing laundry while watching Bridesmaids.
The laundry commenced and Bridesmaids had me laughing out loud several times. I am appalled at how the media is so desensitizing now days. Sadly, I can find the humor entertaining. The ending was sappy and didn’t teach much, if any, morals that would help any relationship.

18. Final load of laundry and now I am home and free to rest.
Got home and in bed around 5:30 and rested well. I slept in and haven’t done anything today other than make French Toast, do dishes, and I finally took a shower at 2:00pm. I have no plans to do anything, nor am I sure that Status is in the future for tonight. I haven’t spoken a single word today in hopes that my throat will rest and get better. I have also been tempted to hang out at Disney, but I hear the parks are going to be insane.

I can listen to a secular song and be totally into that and everything in the world. And then I can listen to an old gospel hymn and ask myself and God what my deal is and wonder why I am even having this frustration and this battle. I thought I was over it, but I am not. The devil is out there and he is relentless. Thankfully, God is just as relentless and He will not lose.

This is my first Christmas away from home and I’m slightly indifferent. Family is important to me, but so was the church that moved me back to Florida in the first place. That statement mixed with the idea that I am tight on money with paying my loans makes it difficult for me to get anywhere. I do have plans to see my Uncle and his wife in a town just north of Tampa on Christmas Day for a few hours, but other than that I will be at my home in Orlando enjoying life and hopefully appreciating the true meaning of Christmas, or what is left of it.

On a slightly more uplifting note, I got to see incredible friends this last weekend. My friends, Aaron, Lori, and Rachel were all down here and we spent the weekend together hanging out and enjoying a few days at Disney. Being with the three of them reminded me of a time not too long ago with great friends hanging out and life being enjoyable; happy. Those friends that you have that transcends beyond time. I miss those friendships and I don’t think I have many of those here. I have friends. I have good friends. It’s just hard when my mind wants to compare them to friends that I love and can say that I love.

There is a time and a place for everything and life is a large container of seasons that allow you to experience such an array of events from birth until death.

The point of paying the ticket price at a movie theater is to watch a movie. The price doesn’t pay for any other form of entertainment or time consumer. The price doesn’t pay for food or beverages. When you go into a movie theater, you expect to be consumed in the movie and nothing else. When something external from the movie takes place, it can bring you to a level of uneasiness and discomfort that leads to the array of emotions described in the sample story above.

Now we move from the movie theater to the church. Aside from the fact that church has no cost in money to go to every week, other than the tithe and/or offering you might give that the Lord has laid on your heart. When you go to church, you should desire to fellowship with other believers in the sense that you’re going to gather together in one group and equip yourselves with truth and the Word of God to go out into the world and spread the Word of God and His kingdom. (While there are a multitude of other reasons to attend church and opportunities of events to do inside the church and invest in community, I am speaking on basic concept) There is a time and a place for everything and I will say in a straight-forward manner that it is not a time to talk to friends during a sermon. It is NOT time to catch up with people you haven’t spoken to in awhile and even friends you saw earlier that day. It isn’t time to distract yourself towards external events that don’t relate to what is happening at church unless the external events relate in a way that has you asking yourself and God what you can do and/or how you can pray or lead or live in an appropriate manner that is revealing God.

Are we not missing the picture when we come to church once a week and we can’t even put our undivided attention on the subject at matter, which is ultimately the ONLY thing that matters or that should matter? While we can stretch this statement and concept far, are we not taking advantage of the freedom that our country allows, to gather together for the sake of religion? Is something so much more important than seeking God? And I ask the last few questions not just to be asked in church, but to be asked daily in all that we do. Is there something better and more valuable than seeking God?

Let us not be like the Israelites in Exodus. We can experience relationship and communication with God on an individual level. We do not put someone in our place to act as a liaison between God and us so that we can stay in the shallow end of spiritual discipline. We do not separate ourselves with distance so that we can keep ourselves from being subject to rules and authority.

Exodus 20:18-21 “When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die. Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning. The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.”

God has been doing a work in me these past months and specifically these last few weeks and it is a wonderful roller coaster of a journey. I have had my nose inside so many books that focus on God’s Word and ultimately God’s Word. I have been listening to sermons on topics that are relevant in my life because I honestly can’t find anything better to do with my time while I am not eating, sleeping, or working. This isn’t me bragging, but just shedding light on what God is doing.

There are times that I desire to contact friends and ask them to come over so that we may pray together; that we may dig into God’s Word together; that we may build each other up and encourage one another. Then, I role play in my mind what I think the conversation will turn into and it always seems to lean in the direction of, “It’s a Saturday night, Casey. I want to have fun. Maybe we can watch a movie or go out and do this or that.” While those things are good and it isn’t harmful, potentially, to enjoy entertainment in this world, I just play in my mind that people want to have “fun”. Which leads me to my next rant.

Phillipians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Psalm 97:12 “Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name.”

Proverbs 37:4-6 “Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.”

Is it not evident that we rejoice in the Lord, that we delight in Him and all that He stands for? Do we need to indulge ourselves in entertainment to be satisfied; to be filled? There are times that I am free from anything that is required of me in a day and I cannot for the life of me think of anything more fruitful and beneficial for my life than to understand God more and seek a deeper level of intimacy with Him. It is fundamental that we seek God through prayer and by reading His Word. I say this again and again, but I CANNOT over-emphasize or beat this dead horse too long or sound too much like a broken record when I urge us, including myself, that we do not stop pursuing God.

One of the small groups I am part of in community has recently started through The Screwtape Letters, written by C.S. Lewis. According to Wikipedia, “The story takes the form of a series of letters from a senior demon, Screwtape, to his nephew, a junior “tempter” named Wormwood, so as to advise him on methods of securing the damnation of a British man, known only as “the Patient”.

First I want to point to Scripture and see what it has to say about posture during times of prayer. While I give examples in Scripture of certain postures, I don’t claim that a posture is part of a formula that will create a desired result, nor would I want someone to think that it is absolutely important and it must be done. What I have noticed on my own through different postures is a level of submission and humbleness to God that acknowledges to God that I humble myself and remove my pride for Him.

John 17:1 “After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed”

Luke 22:41 “And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed”

Matthew 26:38-39 “Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.’ And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.’”

2 Samuel 7:18 “Then King David went in and sat before the LORD and said, “Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?”

It wasn’t that I was forced to, nor that I thought that I would experience something remarkable. It was an encouragement from others in the small group to humble ourselves before God and assume a position for the Lord as we pray. Since then, I have done such a thing and while it isn’t that God speaks to me more when I am in a position of submission to God, it has been an opportunity to show God my pride being laid down.

I know that there is history that explains each position of posture and what each position meant in the cultures of the time that they came about. I know that there isn’t a specific formula that will please God or allow more of or less of something. To beat a dead horse, I know that submitting to God and laying down my pride, and readying myself and my body before God allows me to submit and acknowledge that I submit his authority and power over me.